Pain

My pain keeps me up from sleeping. I see the clock tease me as it tells me it's 4:50. At least I slept a few hours.
My bones hold in them a near-breaking feeling, and my eyes are tearless from anger.
Of course this is my fault. I wanted to feel normal, I wanted to soak it up. I wanted to be a girl, but of course I put aside the consequences knowing full well what they could be. I'm making it sound dire.. how can it be dire if it happens so often?

I'm cool. Regrets of my normal neurosis wash over me as I try to regain some semblance of sleep.. why do I act the way I act sometimes? I am such an excitable person, I enjoy laughing at the conductor as I travel these rails..